Random notes before Chemo day…

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August 3, 2020   0100 hours

Random notes…. I was remembering when I started my job at the coroner’s office and Grey’s Anatomy started about a year later.  I watched it from the beginning and really related to what it was like to be new and lost! We moved to a new house a month before I started the coroner job and for quite a while I didn’t know where anything was at work or at home! This came to mind because of a post I saw on IG. I really liked my job at the coroner’s. I can’t express how fascinating working autopsies was. Of course, the cases were sad but when I could keep a mental distance then I was just so fascinated by the human body. I have always been fascinated by how thing work and the human body is definitely the most fascinating thing of all!!!

August 3, 2020   2130 hours

Tomorrow is chemo #11 of 12 scheduled treatments in my oncologist plan to get me rid of this cancer. Stage 4 cancer.  Sometimes I get up and I think I am going to do all of these things and get all kinds of stuff done and then I am like a vehicle out of fuel… and my daughter will remind me that I am fighting stage 4 cancer and getting chemo. You would think how could I forget but I guess in a way for a moment I do.

There are times however that I cannot forget about the cancer though… and my mind goes overboard with so many things that I feel like my mind will explode. I start thinking about all the things I have around my home that if I were to die right now, my kids would have to help my husband sort through all these things. My clothes, my shoes, and the normal stuff but also my office.  In my office I have so many books, and notebooks of random notes, and craft stuff and my parents photo albums and our family photo albums, and just all kinds of stuff. I need to keep purging stuff. I had to go through all of my mom’s stuff. My dad couldn’t handle her unexpected death and kept pushing every time (every other week) when hubby and I would come out to check on him. He wanted me to go through this or that and pack up my mom’s stuff.  I still have boxes I haven’t gone through.  I did my best to take care of my dad. He made it very difficult. He was so upset about my mom dying before him that he barely made an effort to live. We gave him everything he needed to live comfortably but he didn’t care.  I am surprised he lived almost 9 years after my mom died. Then he killed himself. Shot himself in the head. I found him. I have to admit that really messed me up. Especially with the fact that I worked as a death investigator at the time.  I had to investigate quite a few suicides right after his. Most of those were also older men who for some reason or another had given up and shot themselves.  It was like déjà vu over and over again. Which sounds very redundant. What it was… was traumatic.

Sometimes I feel like my life does flash in front of me. I think about all the people in my life, or that are no longer in my life and have I said what I should, what I want to say, or asked the questions I want answers to.

What if my cancer is all gone, and stays all gone for at least 5 years? That would be great. Maybe I will get even more years… but the former death investigator in me knows that doesn’t mean I won’t die within the next couple years from something else. HERE is where I do an attitude check because I need to live like every day is my last but every day is a gift to be enjoyed.  I want to keep being able to tell people how important they are to me and spend time with them.  I want to enjoy retirement with my husband. We worked so hard to get to this point. This is our 40th year together. We have been parents since we were teenagers in high school and then we worked and worked until finally retirement and our move here to our dream house in the inland northwest wonderland as some call it. It’s OUR time now. Time to explore and enjoy this beautiful place. Time to relax and sit on our porch with a cold/hot drink and listen to the birds sing and the squirrels chatter. Snuggle up in bed because it is 25 degrees outside in the winter. Bundle up for the cool fall weather, and hold hands while we go for a stroll. Have a family dinner with the kids and tell stories and laugh together! Look for the northern lights together on a dark night. Take a walk along the shore of the lake. Kayak. Go boating. Go fishing…. These things are on my list of what I hope to do – along with many more – when I am done with chemo – after I get my immune system back up to normal and I strengthen up my muscles some.  For now it is time to get some sleep before I go get pumped full of poison again to kill the bad stuff inside my body.

CHEMO #10 of 12! Getting close

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07/21/2020

Sitting here at chemo #10. It’s a hot day and I actually have a dress on.  I am listening to Bob Bailey as “George” on XM Radio.  Been a long couple of days, first I was sick, then I made myself crazy and angry because I misplaced my bag with my iPod and extra cords and I couldn’t find it. Then Jessica got sick with a migraine and couldn’t even keep water down for over a day. She started to feel better but then both big dogs threw up their breakfast, but then Bishop threw up dinner, and the next day would not eat so hubby had to take him to the vet and they couldn’t find anything wrong. They said try chicken and rice instead of his food for a few days and gave him antibiotics just in case.  I haven’t slept well in days…. Now today Tessa’s tummy is upset again but I think this past week has just been too much for her nerves. I am hoping she will eat for Jessica while we are gone or at least eat dinner after we get home from chemo.

07/30/2020

The last 2 days have been rough because I have been sick again. I woke up sick yesterday and was sick all day and just felt so awful. I finally stopped being sick last night and was able to get some sleep on the couch last night. I have been able to keep both food and my medications down today and have slowly been feeling normal – at least normal for now while I am fighting cancer and all… LOL

Tessa did eat when we returned from my last chemo and both dogs are fine now. Tessa is very sensitive, especially when she knows I do not feel well. She just clings to my side when I am sick as if she is trying to just comfort me to get better! She is such a blessing.

The doc did add back Bleomycin last chemo. I was sick before chemo and then 2 times after but I am not sure why or if they are all for the same reason or if each incident is a separate thing with each its own reason.  I think my liver/bile production is part of the problem.  We tend to focus on my cancer fight and have learned the hard way – thanks to steroids – not to forget about my diabetes… but I have had problems with my stomach since after my cholecystectomy since the mid 1990’s.  If I eat the wrong foods or too much of something that is trouble – like red meat, buttery stuff, certain veggies like corn – then my stomach gets too much bile and gets very upset. I feel like maybe yesterday was like that. I had steak, a large buttery potato and a buttery ear of corn the night before and remember feeling bloated before I went to bed. I take Digestzen from Doterra and that helps so very much but if I eat the wrong thing or too much of something not so good then it can only help so much.

I know I need to build up the Magnesium again. I had just been feeling like I was getting some energy back when I got sick yesterday so I am rebuilding with my smart water and Magnesium so I am ready for chemo #11 next week.

I can’t believe I have just 2 chemo treatments left.

 

07/31/2020

I was just working on my father-in-law’s autobiography notes. It again reminds me of how much I miss my mom. My FIL has had an interesting life. He worked hard his entire life and I am so honored to be working on his story to finish what was so important to him. In the process I often wish I could ask my mom about parts of her life, and parts of my life. Same with my grandmother.  I am also reminded of how short life can be.  I felt like Mike and I were almost ready to enjoy retirement when we got my stage 4 diagnosis.  Then for awhile it felt like maybe we would never get the chance to really enjoy our time together.  We have been together for about 40 years. (we are in our 40th year together) We have worked hard our entire time together.  We met in high school, had a daughter born just after he graduated.  I spent my jr year with our newborn daughter in tow.  She went to school with me and stayed in the on-campus daycare. With the exception of the first 15 years of my life I have been a parent. I cannot imagine life without my kids, even though they are grown but this past year between the diabetes and the cancer I have had the hidden fear of leaving behind my kids and my husband. I can’t imagine life without my husband. 40 years together and I have no idea what life is like without him as I was a young teen when I met him.

There is an expression about how your life flashes before you when you face death, and as it turns out if you are diagnosed with a terminal and fatal condition your life will flash in segments a little bet every day.  Things you did, said, wish you did, wish you said, people you love who are gone. I have recently gotten back in touch with a dear friend who unfortunately understands the cancer journey on her own level and while writing a letter/email to her I stopped for a minute, got up and went and kissed my husband on his forehead because I just love him so much and cannot wait until I am well enough to go for walks in our beautiful neighborhood, short hikes around the area we live, sit at the lake and have a picnic lunch, walk along the shoreline, and just enjoy being together and I just had to smooch him!!!

Tuesday, August 4th, will be my 11th chemo treatment.  I also have a check up with my oncologist and a better idea of what the plan is after chemo #12 on the 18th.  I know goal number one will be to get my immune system back up to a safe number so I can get some energy back and get out of the house a bit – which of course I will be extra careful with a mask and staying away from others but at least I can leave the house for a drive and such!!!

There is no way I would have been able to get this far with a positive attitude without my faith in God and my support team of family and friends.  I continue to be blessed abundantly by the messages of love and support!!!!

 

CHEMO #9 and some notes….

 

07/17/2020 Friday

Chemo #9 went ok. On Wed 07/08/2020, I was able to do my PCP diabetes check over the phone. The next couple of days were ok. Friday 07/10/2020 I had my pulmonary function test at the hospital.  It also seemed to go pretty well; however, I do not know yet if Dr. Kim will be adding back the Bleomycin or not. I hope he does because I know it is important to the eradication of my cancer.

 

My next chemo is 07/21/2020, #10. On Tuesday 07/14 and 07/15 I was sick. I woke up Tuesday not feeling well.  I ended up with dry heaves and later diarrhea and felt bad all day and then up all night and lousy but not sick all day Wednesday. I am listening to music while I write this. I should listen to music more often but I think the all too often the interruptions here stop me. It is hard to get a block of time to myself and be able to concentrate and let my mind relax and ideas flow freely. Some times between chemo brain and distractions my creativity just seems to be dormant. I can’t wait to get better to explore with Mike but also get time to write again.

Random journal notes…..

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Handwritten journal notes from about 06/30/2020

 

I feel like I am beginning to compartmentalize. I keep thinking about family cemetery vaults, wills, trusts, funerals, codes, missing working forensics, and I want to be able to focus on my forensic blog and I wonder if there any purpose in my doing it at all (the forensic blog).  I miss teaching during career days and science talks to the students. I miss the challenge of an investigation. I miss feeling like I am doing something important to help people with such a difficult time in their life. 

 

06/22/2020

So many thoughts and things to do running in my mind – unable to concentrate and act on them.

 

06/25/2020

Yesterday we had our close friends over for a visit with social distancing out on the deck.  It turned into a great time of food and fellowship.  Mike BBQ’d and jess made the corn and baked potatoes. Good conversation.  It was the first face to face interaction outside of the cancer center that I have had in a long time. My thoughts run a wide bet of info lately so many things on mind.  Wills and trusts and our family estate. It is so nice they understand my need for social distancing and masks to protect my immune system. 

 My blood sugar is high again thanks to the steroids and I am continuing to have the cough and that is scaring me a bit.  I struggled so much with the first cough I had and now a different one plagues me.  I want to have years to enjoy retirement with Mike and my family and friends.  I guess I should try to sleep now as it is 330am on Thursday. I am excited that our inflatable chairs come.  I hope they work out for us to be able to use to see the sky while reclined on the lawn.

 

07/05/2020  2am Sunday

This past week has been a bit slow with swelling in my right hand and right foot.  I have had a headache off and on but think that is allergy related.  We were watching a movie earlier (Saturday afternoon) and my legs were bothering me.  Pain. Discomfort. Then I got an icy feeling down my legs like my temp was dropping all over.  It was scary and creepy to experience. My heart palpations lately have been uncomfortable and worrisome too. 

Chemo #5-7 (5/12, 5/26 & 06/9/2020)

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June 10, 2020

Well it has been a few weeks… On Tuesday of this week, I had chemo #7 of 12. My PET scan I had last month showed a major reduction in my cancer sites! That is incredibly great news!!! The chemo is doing its job.  Since chemo #6, I have been experiencing a few more side effects, including even worse blood sugar spikes. My blood sugar got as high as 330 last treatment. I was experiencing a lot of diabetic nerve pain as a result but thankfully I did not get sick to my stomach like I normally do! That was a rough several days. Thankfully I was able to feel better and get some rest before this week’s chemo. Yesterday I did not feel that great after chemo but I was very tired and slept a lot until I woke up nauseated and with diabetic nerve pain again.  I was up all night in pain with my feet cramping and causing muscle spasms to go up my legs. My daughter stayed up here with me so my husband could get some rest.  I finally went to sleep about sunrise and got several hours of good sleep. Today has gone much better and my Metformin seems to be working to help keep my blood sugar levels manageable. I have been doing my best to be more active today as I know that helps too.  I have started trying to get my section of my shared (with daughter) craft room in order as I have multiple crafts I bounce back and forth with. I have also created several projects and they need to go to whom they were intended for to clear up some space for my newly discovered craft!!  It may seem unimportant but these crafts and writing and of course reading are helping me get through this long time of isolation and recovery.

I know I still have much to do with other stuff. It is amazing how being told your are gravely ill will add to your list of urgent matters and re-prioritize your life.  My husband and I need to get our estate paperwork or will or living trust in order for our girls. We still have my parent’s urns and I think something of a family crypt perhaps is in order so our children don’t have to take turns having custody of my parents and us when we go. I want to go through photos for the kids and get them in order so they know who is who and such. I know I for sure need to keep purging stuff they will have no use for so they do not have to deal with it when I go. I am not a hoarder in the full sense of the word but I sure love to keep anything remotely sentimental to me. I also want to make sure they know where their baby books are!

So many little details that come to mind. I am sure my family and church family would want to have a service of some kind so I suppose I should list my wishes if that is appropriate.  I should ask my husband what he would want at his too. Favorite verses, songs, who would we want to ask to speak…

I have worried about some of these things for a very long time. As a cop’s wife I couldn’t help but worry about such things… but now after hearing I am stage 4 cancer it all came rushing to my mind at once. I feel like having heard my last scan showed major reduction and having passed the half way mark to being done with chemo I feel the urgency again to get these things done so that should I have a relapse or another health issue I won’t have to worry about these things as they will be all in order.   What has made it harder is I have all of my parent’s stuff – their photos, some cards, and tapes.  I think there is quite a few 8mm movies of their stuff going back to the 1960’s and I have lots of VHS and even some modern modern 8mm of my kids plays and sports and of course we usually taped every Christmas. I hope to get the equipment I need to transfer those to digital and be able to give each of the girls a flash drive of movies and pics of their childhood.  I would love to be able to view my parents old water-skiing movies too, and show my kids! I remember my parents would have there friends over and after dinner they would watch their latest movies of them all at the lake. Fun times! I have my dad’s tour book from when he was in the Navy and it is like a yearbook. I found a FB group of family members and people who have also served on the same ship at different times. I would love to be able to dig into that and see if I can find out some of what action my dad saw which might explain when he never talked about those times.

Plus, last year before my diagnosis, my husband and I took over as the family historians for his family.  His dad not only was working on their family genealogy but also writing his own autobiography.  He had 277 pages of hand written notes PLUS journals that I have continued typing. I certainly have plenty to keep me busy and it is very interesting to do. I only wish he were still here to hear some of the stories in person! I also wish I could ask my parents and grandmother stories too. Let this be a lesson to anyone reading this to listen and share stories before it is too late! I am trying to do better about this.

Chemo #4 (04/28/2020)

 

Written April 26, 2020

In a couple of days, I will have chemo #4.  I can tell my shortly buzzed hair is still falling out, but it is harder to tell since it is not long enough to brush! I have felt pretty good the last couple of days and the pain and discomfort that I had for several days last week has not been happening. I haven’t been brave enough to take another big walk, but more so because of my old back injury bothering me.

 

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I received Chemo treatment #4 on Tuesday. I had a pretty headscarf and comfortable face mask – both of which were gifts from family friends who can sew! My labs were ok, with the exception of my dangerously low white cell count. It is up just a smidgen from last treatment so that is good. I am researching what I can do to help bring it up, such as some supplements shown to help. I am doing everything I can to avoid illness and injury. I continue to be blessed beyond measure by notes and messages of encouragement!! #ClassicHodgkinLymphoma #stage4 #ABVDchemo #blessed #GodIsInControl #emotionalsupportdogs (from social media post)

 

May 6, 2020

Chemo #4 happened without much incident.  They are not allowing companions in the cancer center at this time and request that patients wear a mask as are the staff.  My white count is still dangerously low and was barely up at all from the week before. I researched what supplements I can take to try and help produce more white cells and began those within a couple days of my last chemo.  A couple of days after chemo I noticed that when I breathe, I have a little “catch” in my chest.  It feels like it is under the end of my sternum. Kind of like a little rub. It isn’t painful but uncomfortable. I notice it most when I sit on the couch. It seems if I straighten up, it isn’t as noticeable. Another thing is that my knee joints are very stiff. They feel as if they are swollen, but they are not. I have to wonder if it is happening because I felt so tired after the steroids this time and just sat on the couch for 2 days or if there is something going on to make my leg joints so stiff. One morning it was in my feet too and I felt like I couldn’t trust my legs to get out of bed.  I had to hold on to stuff to walk to the bathroom and then I barely had the strength to get up from the toilet. It is a new thing and I don’t know if it will be part of what happens now after chemo.  I had trouble opening a pickle jar and now my wrist has been a little swollen and very sore for the last couple of days. I knew that I would start to have hard days but I am still learning what is normal for me. I need to know if it is a reaction or if I have done something to cause things to happen because that makes a difference on what to do about it.

Today I have had to forego carbs and sugars before my PET scan tomorrow. The hardest part has been that some of the medications I take really upset my stomach and I usually have a piece of dry toast, some crackers or a cheese quesadilla to help coat my stomach but I cannot have any of those things until after my scan. As a result, I am uncomfortable and definitely grouchy. I feel bad for my husband and daughter who live with me as they have to put up with me when I am like this. Don’t misunderstand as I am so grateful that I am getting another scan for an update to where my treatment is at. It would be wonderful to hear that there is a reduction in my cancerous areas.

On the TV is one of the animal shows I like. It is about the zoo and it is really making me miss being able to go to the aquarium or zoo. I have loved zoos all of my life. It makes me happy when I sit out in my backyard and watch the birds and listen to all of the sounds.

 

Chemo #3 (04/15/2020)

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Chemo #3 is done. My Magnesium is back to normal and most of my labs were good with the exception of my white cell count. It is dangerously low. There is a medication I could be given to boost them but it would possibly damage my otherwise healthy and cancer free lungs. My stage 4 makes it important that I don’t get off my chemo treatment schedule so we continued on even though in most cancers they would not proceed with such a low white count. My oncologist said it is imperative I do not get sick or an infection of any kind. It is possible the white cell count will come up later on their own as my body learns to deal with the chemo. In the meantime, he has put me on strong antibiotics and anti-viral medications for the next 30 days.


I continue to be blessed abundantly by the messages of encouragement, goodie (Easter) baskets, face masks and scarves being sent to me! I feel so loved and supported which is such an important part of this journey and my ability to fight this cancer and I thank everyone who has chosen to be a part of my support system – I include everyone who has sent me a message of encourage in any form… THANK YOU!


I also want to mention what a wonderful comfort to have the familiar face of my neighbor Kelley every time I walk into the cancer center!!! Thanks Kelley for always checking often on me during my treatments!!!

Finding the new normal…

 

April 17, 2020

The week after chemo #2 went much better than I had expected. I am finally figuring out what to expect as well as what helps and what does not. I finally got tired of losing my hair by the handfuls and had my husband shave my head.  It has been a weird thing to get used to.  I have some beanies for when my head is cold and bandannas and scarves for other times. It has been a shock for my family to get used to seeing me this way because it makes me look more like I had cancer whereas they say I still looked “normal” with my hair. It was time though, as my hair was shedding worse than the dogs.

The second week, the weather warmed up some and one day I felt well enough to dust off and wipe down the deck furniture and get the cushions out so the deck could be enjoyed again!! I was able to enjoy it for 2 days before the weather got a little wet and windy! I sat out there and did some mother-daughter face time as well as some lap top use to catch up on correspondence. It was awesome to be out in the fresh air! At my daughter’s suggestion I started drinking up my electrolytes before I went to chemo!

Tuesday, April 14 was chemo day #3. It also included my usual labs as well as a visit with my oncologist this time. He said my Magnesium is back up and there was no indication of cancer in my bone marrow biopsy. That is great!! However, my white cell count is dangerously low. Normally they would delay chemo with a count that low, however with my stage 4 diagnosis and hope for a cure I cannot afford to delay my treatments. As a precaution my oncologist has put me on antibiotics and anti-viral medications to help protect my severely compromised immune system.  He said it was important I did not get sick or infections!

I am now day 3 after chemo #3. Still doing ok but struggling with the steroids making my blood sugar rise. Getting on the treadmill seems to help. Today is the last day for steroids until next chemo. It will be nice to be able to have my tangelo and apple after dinner! I miss that on my days I take the steroids, but I have to do what I am told to do and get through each treatment best I can!! Yesterday I took advantage of the nice day to put some spring into the front porch!! Today I am relaxing on the couch with my laptop and catching up on the some of the Hallmark Mysteries I have on the DVR!!

Round 2

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April 1, 2020

Day after Chemo #2

Yesterday was quite a day! I got to the cancer center on time, and reported up to the chemo room for my routine blood draw. I played a game on my Ipad and got comfortable while I waited for labs. That is when the slight craziness started. My magnesium and some other numbers were quite low, and might delay my chemo treatment. I was mentally prepared for my chemo treatment and also knew the importance of it so I did not want that to be delayed.  My doctor was not in the office yesterday so we had to wait for the NP on duty to talk with the oncologist on duty for my doc. In the mean time they hooked up a bag of Magnesium and normal saline. They said because of the drip rate it would take at least 2 hours. About a half hour into it, they came and said the on-call oncologist (say that fast 3 times LOL) said it would be ok to continue with my chemo. The RN said that it would add another 4 hours to my time there but I said “go for it” as I had no where else I had to be! Plus, I had a goodie bag of snacks and activities as well as chargers for my iPad, iPod and iPhone to keep me busy!! Charles (my nurse) went and collected my chemo cocktail from the pharmacy and came back and said he had yet another possible change if I was up for it. He proposed he start an IV in my left arm – the same said my port is on – and switch the Magnesium to that so he could hang my pre-chemo meds and connect them to my port. I said “let’s do it”! He said doing this would cut my time there down a little bit by multi porting! My having all the IV lines on my left side it allowed me to use my right hand and still do my activities. Treatment itself went well and I was done shortly after lunchtime so I had declined eating there, since I had eaten a trail mix nut bar and some peanut butter and crackers while I was listening to a true crime podcast and playing games on the iPad. The cancer center has such a great staff and does what they can to make us patients as comfortable as possible. Charles and I talked about what it must be like working the front lines amid the COVID-19 pandemic. As I cops wife, I said I would imagine it is now similar to what cops and firefighters deal with in their jobs.  They are good people, trying to do a good job for the right reasons, yet they have to worry that each day they go to work they can lose their life. Its scary for them and scary for their loved ones. My husband was able to retire but not everyone does. Now health workers are dealing with extreme danger with COVID-19. It breaks my heart to think of the COVID-19 victims who have to die alone without the comfort of their loved ones by their side. My years as a death investigator showed me time and time again of how differently people recovered or declined depending on loved ones by their side or alone.

After chemo, I was very hungry and was craving Chili’s potato soup and some chips and salsa, as well as some southwestern egg rolls. After trying to place my order online 3 different times and getting “cannot process at this time” we arrived at our local Chili’s to find a sign that said closed until May 1st.  I sure wish the app would have conveyed this because I wasted a “hangry” half hour. So, we decided we would go by Texas Roadhouse. I was able to place my order online from the parking lot. They kept coming out to tell us our order was almost ready… several times and wanted to know if they could do something for us like a soft drink or something. Nope, just want to get the food and get home.  So we drive the half hour home only to find out they gifted us an extra 6 rolls but forgot to put the steak in my “filet salad”… I was very not happy and even extra “hangry”. My husband had gotten a larger steak and was easily able to share enough with me to complete my salad.  I called Roadhouse to let them know of the problem and they offered to make me another steak if I wanted to come get it… I declined.  She said she would see what she could do and email me… I am still waiting. What gets me is that it was 330 in the afternoon on a Tuesday. It is not like they were slammed! But like I said, I was very hangry and tired and it had been a long day of at least 9 medications – including 4 toxic poisons – being put into my body. Later that night I could not sleep. The steroids made my blood sugar go up to 215, which it hasn’t been that high in at least 6 months, I think. I felt awful trying to go to sleep and was so afraid it was going to make me sick like what usually happens when my blood sugar is super high. I just laid there most of the night afraid to move and get sick.  I felt a little better towards dawn and was able to get a “nap” in before getting up.  My husband made me a fried egg sandwich for breakfast and that went down really well.  I took my medications and seem to feel better!

It is now almost 11pm. My day has gone pretty well. I was able to eat through out the day without any problems and have a decent amount of energy.  My blood sugar is still high but not even near 200 so I hope to sleep better tonight! I do have to add that I am noticing more hair in my brush and hand when combing my hair, but it is not a surprise.

1 more day until Chemo round 2

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March 30, 2020

The first couple days after chemo were not to bad. I also had steroids those first 4 days that apparently help a lot but have to be limited, of course, due to their own side effects but I did feel a down turn of energy and such.  I was fine for several days but made the mistake of indulging in a yummy Russel Stover Sugar Free chocolate (due to my diabetes) not one night, but 2 nights in a row, and then I had to add some tasty Twisters Sugar Free strawberry vines and “poof” like that I had 2 sleepless nights due to stomach cramps. For 2 days I was so miserable… and sorry. Definitely sorry. I finally started to feel better and get some good sleep.  The last couple of days have been good. Not lots of energy but definitely more than I had felt for a couple week.  Those 2 weeks of the scans and the tests and diagnosis were mentally and physically exhausting.  Then I had the bone marrow biopsy, which was painful and started chemo.

I am so thankful I am going into this 2nd chemo treatment much more ahead of the game. Good meals, good sleep and a fresh shower.  House is clean and so are my clothes. Round 2 coming up!